From Scarcity To Strength - Episode 5

What happens when the life you built cracks open—your home, your trust, even your paychecks? We sit down with Christine Espinoza to trace a gripping, practical journey from financial infidelity and hidden IRS debt to personal freedom, steady cash flow, and a stronger voice. It’s a story that blends heartbreak with hard-won strategy: severing unhealthy financial ties, negotiating an offer in compromise, rebuilding a real estate business from the ground up, and learning to buy back time so the right work gets done.

Christine opens the books on what most people whisper about. She explains the moment she stopped chasing court-ordered payments and redirected that energy into production. We explore how she protected her kids’ hearts while telling age-appropriate truths, set firm communication boundaries with her ex, and curated inputs—faith, podcasts, and self-development—that interrupted worry before it spiraled. From prospecting and open houses to systems and delegation, her playbook shows how consistent action compounds into real results, especially when you guard your focus like a scarce asset.

If you’ve felt stuck in resentment, this conversation offers a clean pivot: take back your accounts, track the numbers, hire help that frees your mind, and replace rumination with motion. Christine’s candor makes the big themes feel usable—grit over grievance, abundance over fear, and gratitude for the hard road that forged resilience. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs courage today, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep bringing real, unpolished stories that move you forward.

Transcript

Welcome And Christine’s Backstory

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hello, Dr. Kim Duray here. Welcome to Triumphant Stories of Resilience podcast, sponsored by Somalistic. And today we have a special guest, Christine Espinoza, who's gone through quite a difficult time. And I think it will inspire you and inspired me when there's financial infidelity. And I'll let her explain what that happens and what happened to her and how she moved through it to an extraordinary, really very successful real estate life. So welcome. And thank you. Do you want to tell us when you found out that something had changed in your life and you were surprised by it? I'm sure.

Market Crash And Money Control

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Yeah. So I was married for 12 years and had two little boys. And um we were both in real estate. And so and we did really well when we were younger. And then the market crashed in 2008 to 10. And um we we had a bunch of properties that we lost, and um and I kind of morphed into our relationship where he kind of handled the money and I was taking care of the kids, even though I was still working. We were both in real estate, but I backed off a bit when my kids were little. And um, so he's the one that filed our taxes and and did all of this. And um, so when we got divorced, um I knew that we didn't have much money at that point. I mean, we lost a lot, but it was a lot worse than I thought because taxes had not been filed and um everything. So we got divorced and you know, he wouldn't leave the house, so I had to go rent a house, which was like an ego thing too, because I was 38 years old. I had owned my own house since I was 22. And so I go rent a house and he basically kept everything and was supposed to pay me a certain amount, which wasn't that much, but over the course of five years, including um child support. But the stuff he was supposed to pay me, it wasn't alimony, it was um just my half of the equity in the house and whatever else that we had. So um, which he didn't pay. You know, he paid child support partially for a few years, but didn't pay the other part. So I spent a lot of money in court, taking him to court and winning and still not getting paid. So basically, I just realized that focusing my energy on chasing him down trying to get paid was really not productive. So I just started figuring out how to make money on my own. And I had been in real estate, but um I really focused and doubled down and just concentrated a hundred percent on that. And so I had to dig myself

Divorce Fallout And Hidden Tax Debt

SPEAKER_00 2:59

out of a lot of debt. Um I had, I don't know, $150,000 in um back taxes that you didn't know about. You thought they were paid for. I didn't know. Right. And um and it's probably my fault too, because I wasn't paying attention like I should. But also they I started getting my paychecks garnished um from the real estate company I was working at. But he his stuff was all in LLC, so he was protected.

IRS Garnishments And Offer In Compromise

SPEAKER_00 3:31

So um I it took me a year, but I negotiated with the IRS and did an offer and compromise and was able to pay a small amount to get the rest forgiven. Um, and yeah, I had no savings, so you know that just took a while. I mean, there were times when my electricity got shut off, and I tell the kids, we're gonna go spend the night at your grandparents' house tonight, and you know, they didn't know what was going on. But um, so yeah, it took it took a long time, but I was able to get out of debt and be able to actually save money and take care of my kids.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Yes. So what happened during those times when you talk about them? It it sounds like you went

Hitting Bottom And Family Support

SPEAKER_01 4:17

from, you know, okay, I'll just figure this out, but what was the emotional and physical toll on you?

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Oh, it was worst. It was, I mean, what's good going through divorce in and of itself, it's like your whole world flips upside down. And now you have to take care of all of these things, which I only had certain responsibilities before. I mean, even little things like I thought my air conditioning kept breaking. Well, it's because I didn't change air filters. It sounds so stupid, but I never had to do that before. So just juggling all that stuff is really challenging. Um, but slowly, piece by piece, I figured everything out. But I mean, it was scary because luckily I have a very supportive family. They weren't able to financially support me. Um, but they were there, like always able to watch the kids, um, just emotionally and you know, physically, they were there. And that was super, super helpful.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

That's very helpful. The emotional support is extremely helpful when you're going through something where you go, I don't know what to do. I have no idea. But I have two kids to take care of.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yes. And they were real my my dad was in real estate too, and he had so many ups and downs in his career. So it was like, okay, this stuff happens, and you just, you know, buckle down and just look at one week at a time and you go from there. So, but it was really scary. And but I think because I didn't have a safety net to fall back on, it's like I don't have a choice. I gotta figure this out. And the because like it would be real easy just to be like, hey, can I borrow this money until this time? But I didn't have that option. So it's it was just put my head down and go to work.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Did you feel like you because you didn't have an option, you weren't gonna fail? Or

Refusing To Fail And Rebuilding

SPEAKER_01 6:14

were you- I couldn't fail. You couldn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

I didn't think that that wasn't an option. I mean, how else were my I wouldn't take care of my kids? And I wanted to have a certain I was used to a certain lifestyle, a certain luxury. And yeah, and um, I didn't even consider like what what is the other option? Not doing going back to move in with my parents. I love my parents, but I would have nightmares if I woke up that I was living with them with my kids and thinking I need to get out of here and get my own house. And I'd wake up and go, Oh, thank God I'm in my own place.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

So at 22, you owned your own house. Were you married then? No. Okay, so you already had an amount of success independently before you you married your husband?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Yes, I got my license right after I graduated college and I was dating my husband. We weren't married yet, and um, and I worked for my dad, so at his real estate company. Okay. So um we were we dated for a few years. I got married when I was 26, but yeah, I had owned my house. I bought it when I was 22 or 23, I don't remember. So I had owned my own house, and

Lessons In Grit From Childhood

SPEAKER_00 7:21

then we both had owned our own houses and then sold those and bought one together.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

So when you figured out that there was this financial infidelity, you owed part of what he didn't pay that you thought was paid. Was there a a place where you got depressed or there was a this this place where you you said you were scared, but this place where you got stuck?

SPEAKER_00 7:50

I got angry.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Well, that's a good emotion to get you motivated. Like, I mean, I'll get kind of sad, but then I get like kind of pissed off. But it serves me because then it helps me to like, I'm not letting this happen to me. I'm you know, I'm gonna figure this out. Did you always have that characteristic? No. I guess I should be grateful to my ex-husband for bringing this up.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Let's thank him. Okay. Because really it it drove you to this place where you you succeeded.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

I would say it started in high school. I remember um friends who could just study the night before for a test and pull out A's. And I would get so frustrated because I felt like I had to work so much harder than everyone else. I got good grades. I wasn't straight A student, but I got good grades, but I had to work so much harder. And I would, you know, complain to my parents, like, this isn't fair, you know, why do they get to, you know, just barely look at something or they have this photographic memory and I have to work so hard. And I remember my mom just saying, Hey, you are learning to work hard and you're learning um grit, and that is way more important than being able to, you know, just have the photographic memory or something. And she would always say, My sisters and brother and I talk about this now, whenever we'd complain about, oh, so and so has this or that. And my mom would say, Well, would you rather trade the other blessings and traits that you have? Would you rather not have this or this or just to have that? And it's like, well, no, I wouldn't want to, you know, give up what I had before. But it was um, yeah, just learning to, if things are hard, just to keep pushing through it and and work hard anyways. So I think that was, I guess it was something that I had growing up.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Yes, you built that muscle. Yes, from your parents' wisdom. Yes. Well, that's good because it did serve you well when you got blindsided.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Yes. And and then what would you say to people when you look back and you go, We're reviewing this, and you go, wow, I went through all of that. What would you say is the biggest takeaway?

Ditching Victimhood And Refocusing Energy

SPEAKER_00 10:14

I would say to get out of the victim mentality as fast as possible. Because you I've seen people sit there, and you know, I did for a little while, but you can easily sit there and be like, they're so horrible, or this person did that to me or that to me, and wallow in it for a long time. And it really just leaves you stuck. So it's like, at what point do you want to decide, okay, that's what it is. What can I do moving forward? Because it's like, where am I putting my energy? Is it being mad at this person or feeling sorry for myself? That does not get you anywhere. So as soon as you can just say, okay, that's what it is. Now, what can I do to make a difference moving forward? I think that's the best advice that I would give. It's like you can complain all day about what they do or they keep doing, and it just doesn't serve you.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Well, you mentioned the time where you you go to court and you're trying to get him to be accountable, and he's not accountable, that you took another path.

Court Wins Without Payment And Consequences

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Well, yeah, I would win. It's like every time I go back to court, it's like six thousand, seven thousand dollars, and I win, and he owes me, and he owes me reimbursement of the fees, the attorney fees, I still didn't get paid. And it's like, at what point do you just stop chasing down, you know? And it was in the beginning, it was real frustrating because he kept the house. He's driving the nice car, he's living in my house, our house, but and traveling all over, spending all this money. And I'm sitting here with no money, and it was really frustrating to see. Now, since then, he's lost everything like the real estate license, the house, everything. So, and people are like, Oh, doesn't that make you feel good? Honestly, it doesn't really make me feel good. No, that's not how you want that to end up. No. But it is kind of like full circle.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Well, it shows what happens when people don't take accountability or they aren't on the up and up that in the long run it just doesn't work.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Right. Because I always thought, how does he keep getting away with all this? And never suffer a consequence. It just it

Protecting Kids’ Hearts And Telling The Truth

SPEAKER_00 12:26

blew my mind. And eventually, you know, it did catch up to him.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Yes. And the boys, how are the did the boys know anything that was going on, or were you doing this by yourself with the support of your parents emotionally, and then making sure that they're protected in not knowing about the business and the mess?

SPEAKER_00 12:46

They they were three and six. Okay, they're young. They were too young. So I didn't say anything. And my whole family and I, we all talked, and we're we said, You're never saying we're never saying anything bad about their dad. I want them to love their dad. I never wanted them to feel like abandoned from him or that he was a bad person because they're part him, right? And so I never said anything. And then when they got older, they would ask questions, and slowly I would give certain answers as the time permitted. And I would always say, Well, do you want to hear about this? Do you want to talk about this? And, you know, sometimes they'd say, Oh, not really. And other times you can say, Yeah, I want to know, I want to know, I want to know. So as I got older, I said more. And also they started experiencing more with their relationship with him, which they have a good relationship with him, but they know what to expect from him. If they need something, they come to me. If some if whatever happens, it's important, you know, they come to me. Um, but their dad's still involved in their life, and you know, he goes to all their games, he'll take them on some vacations, and um, he's involved. But they are really, I feel like, healthy in terms of knowing just this is what we get from our dad. And I told him, like, enjoy all the good parts, your dad, because he's got a lot of great parts. That's why I married him. And you guys are lucky

Feeding The Mind With Positive Inputs

SPEAKER_00 14:09

because you got all the good parts. But they were able to now it's like they're able to see, okay, when you follow the rules and you do the right thing, here's the result. Like you can uh be successful. When you don't, here's the result, and they could see that in their dad.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Uh, you know, so this is such a loving way of getting through something that was pretty devastating to your life financially. You you had to crawl out of a hole. And so to look at this other person and still have a loving attitude is part of the resilience, too. It's using your energy in the right way to get through it rather than hating or dividing.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Yes, and now I'm not like that all the time. Say how do you have this? Okay, yeah, I'm not sure. I have to always cause bring myself back. Okay. I was gonna ask if you have it so mad, and that's when the support of people that you care about really helps is because to be able to just vent and talk about it and get it all out. And then it's like, okay, it's out of my system, I'm over this, and just keep reminding myself. Cause I always would read my parents are not divorced, but I'd always read that kids, if they have divorced parents, like they blame themselves or they you know internalize it. I never wanted my kids to feel like that. And I thought if I talk about their dad, then they're gonna take it personally. And I'm guilty of saying things about their dad too, but then I but then I'll like apologize and be like, hey, I was just mad, I'm sorry. And you know, there's lots of good parts to your dad. And so I try to bring it around. But I'm not perfect and I'm not always positive.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

They try to be. In general, you it seems like you have a good grasp on it and the

Regaining Financial Control And Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 16:06

thoughtfulness of your children and how they're going to get through the divorce. But then when you were harmed that with with financial infidelity, you you didn't continue it. You you just moved on, and and that takes a lot of internal work. Do you remember talking to yourself, getting through what did you say to yourself to have this attitude?

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Well, I'm always um reading books, listening to them, uh podcasts, just about the topics that I'm going through, and it's really helpful. I find certain people that inspire me, and I just try to fill my head with that. Because it's easy, it's easy to get off on a a tangent, and so it helps me come back to where I should be to like align and focus myself on the things I know I should be focusing on. And do you stay really present? And how do you do that? Well, I'm listening to the well to actuate what you're listening to. I it's it's constant. I'm in my car a lot with um with work, and so I'm always I've I've got so many different things on my phone, on my audible, on my podcast, that I'm always listening to stuff. Or if I'm at my house, I'll have my headphones on and must while I'm doing things. Like I've never been a fiction book reader. I just I always like reading things inspirational, yes. Like self-help or inspirational, just whether it's business or personal, whatever it is. Um, it's just always been fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Okay. So you're always learning. And then when the financial piece happened, what where do you start tweezing that out and and like building the account and paying this off? And did you did you know where to start?

SPEAKER_00 18:03

No, well, it no, it was really hard. Before I got divorced, so we were in a real estate company and he was my broker. So, like he took over my dad's company, and he was the owner of the company now. We both were, but he was the broker. So I would make a commission check, and at first he was like, Okay, we gotta, you know, we got the hunger down because the market is down, so we have to budget. So he would, he said, okay, I'm gonna take the money and we'll put it in this account and I'll put so much in your account every month. And that quickly turned into, oh, okay, he's controlling me on this because he would be like, You spent $150 at Target? What are you doing? But then he's at Ocean Club spending $500 on dinners with friends calling it business. I'm like, I'm in the same business too. I'm not doing that. And I'm buying diapers. What is this? So I said, We're not doing this anymore. Like, I'm getting my commission checks, you're not taking them. I said, the next one you take, I'm out of here. I'm not gonna be at this company anymore. And he did it again. So I severed my license and I moved it to another company and opened my own bank account. Uh because I knew the div this wasn't gonna last. So I kind of prepped myself.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Okay, you protected yourself that way.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Yeah, protected myself, but it's not like I had all this money to move over.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Right, but you you stopped the bleeding. Yes, sense.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

I started at least having my own, you know, bit of Did you have a financial planner?

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Did you have someone to help you through that, or you just knew checks and balances, this money, pay bills?

SPEAKER_00 19:39

No, um I didn't have a financial planner at the time. Um I met with a financial planner from a client before I got divorced and said and asked this guy, I said, Look, I

Working Relentlessly And Choosing Mentors

SPEAKER_00 19:55

I'm thinking gonna head for divorce. Can you um help me know what to do? And I met with him, he set up a time and no one was in his office, and the guy hit on me and he was married. That didn't work. And I le I was I said, You're married, and he said, So are you? And I was like, Yeah, well, I'm getting divorced because of someone cheating, and that's why I came to you to help me. And I left that office crying, like, is everyone in the world horrible? Like, what is wrong with people? And um, so I got a f a a woman financial advisor later. There you go. But I mean, there's not much to advise when you have no money in your account. I just knew I had to make money. I'd figure out what to do with it later. I just knew I had to make money. So it was like pounding the pavement, do open houses all the time, just just I put my head down and just worked, and just worked, yes, with your grit.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

So you're an inspiration because I don't know many people that just don't keep going down the victim path because it's so easy when things come at you and nothing seems to be working right away. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Well,

Law Of Attraction And Stopping Worry

SPEAKER_00 21:17

it's so unhealthy. And I, you know, I I watched the movie The Secret. I remember I remember that a hundred times. And I bought the book and I bought it on t uh on audio, so I could listen in my car. I'm a Christian, I go to church. I didn't feel like it was I felt like it's complimentary. Yes. Um, but the law of attraction. But what that taught me was like how bad it is to worry and to ruminate on negative things, because then you're like a magnet and you're just sucking all the other negative things to you. It's like it's bad for you. So I just noticed when I when I started worrying or going down that path, I would stop myself right there. Do something else, replace it with like a positive action because I did not want to bring more of that negativity. So I purposefully, anytime to this day, if I start to worry about something, I just stop myself.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

I think that's a brilliant thing to do. Right. It sounds so simple. I don't think it's as simple. I think you would have to practice it over and over again to just stop it. But that is true. It's such a negative amount of energy.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Well, it's I think it's just being intentional and recognizing it when it comes and just like making a decision to stop it. And you can't help it sometimes. I mean, I remember driving to an appointment and stuff would happen. I remember crying on the way to an appointment and being like, I can't go in there. My makeup's all off. It's like running into Walgreens and buying makeup, putting it on, be like, all right, just like be like an actress or something. Pretend like um, you know, I'm someone else and go in there and just turn it on. And so

Performing Under Pressure And Authenticity

SPEAKER_00 23:04

there's a lot of times that stuff like that happened. I mean, you can only be strong so many times.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

So many times. Well, that's what I I love about you is the authenticity of I'm human, I go through these things and I persevere. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Again, like I don't feel like I had a choice. And once I got past the okay, I can pay my bills, I can do this. It's like I want to have a great life and I want to be able to, I have expensive taste. What am I able to do? Go on great vacations. I want to be able to do the stuff I want to do. And really before all that, I really wanted to be able to pay people to do the stuff I don't want to do. Like clean my house, and you know, I delegate a lot of things so I can free up my time to doing things that make money. Yes. So first I do the thing, pay someone to do the things I don't want to do. Then you can buy extra things.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

And now it's like I'm getting excited about investing in things, and it's just um uh more of a freedom and yes, I I think that's what gives you the to have financial freedom and control of your financial life gives you choices. Yes. Yes, and so that is freedom,

Buying Back Time And Scaling Freedom

SPEAKER_01 24:19

yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Yes, for sure. And like paying someone to come organize my house, because I'm all over the place. I'm doing so many things at once, and I'm just not a good organizer. It's like I don't know where to put something. It's like, I'll shove it over there and worry about that later. Well, then next thing you know, all this stuff is piled up on my dining room table. So like I pay someone to come in my house and organize it and help me.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

What a nice luxury.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Yeah, I like that. It's great, but it frees up my mind too, because my mind's not cluttered and thinking, uh, I gotta do all this.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

But it's like it's and your time, yes. I think you've given a lot of good tidbits, even for me to listen to you to to practice, just to practice these pieces that you practice. It sounds like you practice it all the time. I do.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

It becomes a way of life, really. You know, and it's um and it's and you you start to recognize it too when you you have the same the friend that has the same problem for years. It's like, well, either do something about it or stop complaining about it. Yes. I get frustrated sometimes because it's like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Or don't do the same thing over and over and expect something else that's gonna happen differently. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

But I also try to have compassion too because I understand everyone has their but some people will do that for their whole life. Yes, yes. Um, but it's like energetically, I feel like I feel kind of pull away from those people now because I can't you really have to like create like an invisible bubble around yourself and your energy to not get thrown off. How do you do that? It's like magic. No, it's another intentional thing. It's just like I can't um it's just I have to protect myself

Guarding Energy And Limiting Drainers

SPEAKER_00 26:05

and not let like if I'm talking to my ex and he starts, I will block him. Oh, okay. You literally block on the phone like, hey, if you want to talk to me, you have one email address and I will open that email when I'm mentally prepared. But I can't have it come into my workday when I'm trying to negotiate a transaction or I'm trying to take care of something. I can't have this negativity coming in my space or certain relationships. It's like I can't, you know, you kind of just pull away from certain friends if they're sucking your energy. You know how you'll be with someone and you leave and you feel energized. Yes. And you leave some people and you feel drained. Yes. It's like I've uh had to learn how to limit my time if I spend time at all with people that suck the energy because I only have so much and I have to protect it to it.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Yeah, it's sacred. It really is. Yes. And that part where that energy

From Scarcity To Abundance Mindset

SPEAKER_01 27:05

actually is financial energy as well. I think they go hand in hand.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Oh, it totally does. I mean, it's like I did feel the scarcity for so long, like, oh, I can't afford this, or I can't do that, or and now it's like I feel like money just keeps flowing in. Because you've got the the you've got the secret down, right? And I'm not afraid anymore of it not being there. I know it's gonna be there. So it's it's weird how that works. It's almost like I can't even put myself in the headspace that I was in before. Well, you're in a different space, you live a different life now, not of lack, but of abundance. Right. And you know, if shit hits a fan, I'll figure it out. That's where I feel like I'm good because anything can happen, you know, but I know I'll be able to figure it out. And you have.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

You have. So you prove yourself right every single time.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

Yes, but it's not like it's easy. It's a lot easier to talk about it now, but it yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Yes, it's easier, but it sounds like the practice is the piece to keep practicing your positive attitude, your positive energy.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Well, I'm grateful really that it happened because I would not be half as strong. I would not have been forced to do this stuff if I didn't

Gratitude For The Hard Road And Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 28:25

have those hard things to go through. And really, if someone's like, oh, you can go back and redo it and you wouldn't have this stuff happen, I wouldn't want that because I'd probably just not be as appreciative of what I have. I wouldn't work as hard. I wouldn't have the drive, I wouldn't be who I am. So I I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

I wouldn't like you don't want to do it again. I don't want to do it again. But you're grateful. Yes, looking back, it it created a springboard for you. Thank you for sharing your story. It really is inspirational. And I think people picked up some tidbits, I know I did, about this place where you stop the worry and you keep bringing in the energy of positive podcasts and positive people, and that you can't fail if you think that's not an option, right? Yes, and not to be a victim. Yeah, I think that's huge. That is huge. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

Thank you for coming. You're welcome. Thank you for having me.