Rebuilding A Life After Spinal Fusion And Addiction

Some stories rearrange how you understand strength. Kurt’s path through Scheuermann’s kyphosis, two major spinal fusions, and addiction recovery reveals a quieter definition of resilience: daily choices that turn pain into presence without denying the hurt. We talk about the late diagnosis that derailed his teens, the Boston brace and isolation that followed, and the first fusion at 20 that ended music school and demanded a new map for life.

Years later, a sudden 2023 crisis sent him to the ER for an eight-hour surgery to remove 18-year-old hardware and re-fuse fourteen spinal levels. He woke grateful to walk, yet faced relentless pain and a fork in the road: return to numbing or go inward with discipline. Kurt chose depth. He committed to therapy twice a week, breathwork, and a reframed relationship with emotions. He explains how validating anger—rather than judging it—reduced his suffering, and how he separates the body’s pain from the stories that make it heavier.

We also get practical. Kurt shares the simple, stubborn foundations that hold his days together: move your body daily even when it hurts, protect sleep like your life depends on it, eat to reduce inflammation, and hydrate more than you think you need. He describes the mental drift chronic pain invites and the anchors he uses to stay present with his wife and daughters. His perspective on visibility is striking too: he no longer needs others to witness his pain to confirm it. The work is personal, intimate, and strangely generous in what it teaches about attention, humility, and love.

If you live with chronic pain, know someone who does, or just need a grounded take on resilience, this conversation offers hard-won tools and honest hope. Listen, share with a friend who needs it, and subscribe to join our growing community of triumphant stories. Your review helps others find the show—what insight stayed with you most?

Transcript

Welcome & Sacred Purpose

Speaker 0:00

Hello, friends. Welcome. I'm Dr. Kim Dire, and this is Triumphant Stories of Resilience. And this podcast is brought to you by Somalistic. Today we have stories of resilience. And what happens with this is we have everyday people that have extraordinary stories that inspire us, the place where healing and trauma and sometimes distress can disrupt our lives. And then we get inspired by the human story and the human spirit. So this is a really sacred place, this podcast in Stories of Resilience. And today I want to welcome Kurt Aungst, who has a story of his own that I think is incredible and just inspires me so much. So welcome, Kurt. Welcome, friends. So sit back, open your hearts, open your ears, and listen to this extraordinary tale. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me, Ken. Yes, I am so glad you're

Kurt’s Early Chronic Pain

Speaker 1:09

here. So tell me a little bit about the first and the beginning part of when your life started to change and what that change was, the impact, the trauma, the the pieces that happened for you.

Speaker 1 1:24

Well, I mean, I would it goes back a long ways. Um I would say, you know, it was probably in middle school uh days when when my back pain really started to increase. Um and they had checked me out for scoliosis a few times, um, and it was the wrong test to be doing. Um so I would say, you know, middle school was things got rough. That's when uh that's when I started to experience chronic pain for the first time where where it just it was it was constant.

Speaker 2:06

Um and keeping you up at night. And are you in sports at this time too?

Speaker 1 2:11

Yeah, I was uh so I was playing a lot of uh we played roller hockey here in Arizona. There was there wasn't as many ice rings back then. Um and so we played roller hockey and um I I wrestled my freshman year as well, but um it it was it was always an issue. Um sleep was always an issue and uh just getting through the day, you know, just being in pain and having to sit through class and still, you know, take in what's going on, um and still have a social life, still all of that is uh, you know, at a young age, it was that was challenging.

Speaker 2:52

And in the meantime, are you going to doctors and trying to search for this uh out of the blue chronic pain?

Speaker 1 3:00

Yeah, we we we you know they they they caught the Sherman's kyphosis too late.

Speaker 3:07

And that's what it's called. Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 3:09

Explain what it was yeah, it was

Misdiagnosis To Kyphosis

Speaker 1 3:11

adolescent uh kyphosis. Um and it's it's curvature of the spine. Uh it's the opposite of uh scoliosis, so it it it makes you look like a hunchback, you know. And then you've got a giant sway back as well.

Speaker 3:28

Okay, so scoliosis is the curvature, and this one is rounding. Correct. Because you're a tall person. So you're growing at this time and at the same time curving over.

Speaker 1 3:40

Right, right. So everyone was like, Well, he's he's got a he's hunched over, he needs to stand up straight.

Speaker 3:45

And and and you're trying, but your your structure can't. Right. Okay. Exactly so. Then what happens next? We find that out.

Speaker 1 3:55

It was it was tough. They they wanted to try and brace me. Um, but it was I

Bracing, Narcotics, And Isolation

Speaker 1 4:03

was late. Um, so they they put me in a Boston brace, my sophomore year of high school.

Speaker 4:09

And a Boston brace.

Speaker 1 4:10

Boston brace is uh it's a full, it's a full body brace that uh is extremely uncomfortable and and it's hard to, you know, they want you to spend like 22 hours a day in it.

Speaker 4:25

Which is impossible for a young person.

Speaker 1 4:27

Right.

Speaker 4:28

And how's that impact your social life at that time? Because looks are such a big piece. Um, how self-conscious were you about this brace?

Speaker 1 4:38

Right. It was difficult. Um, you know, I I luckily I was able to hide mine um underneath a lot of my clothes. So I think it would be, you know, like my daughter had the same issue, and and hers was, you know, more challenging, you know. Can't can't hide it as well. Um it was difficult, you know, because at that time they were also treating me with uh with narcotics, you know. And and that, you know, leads to its own set of issues. Yeah.

Speaker 5:15

And did you know at the time that it was leading to those set of issues?

Speaker 1 5:19

No, I didn't. Um it was it was at the they it was really the only thing that they knew to do um to treat the pain to where I could get through school, you know.

Speaker 5:32

Okay. So so when is there the answer through surgery?

First Major Spinal Fusion At 20

Speaker 1 5:40

It got progressively worse. Um and I ended up they decided that it was time to operate uh when I was 20 years old. Um and if I I believe it was somewhere around like an 82 to 86 percent curvature of the spine. Um normal is nowhere near that. So it was it was definitely time. Um and yeah, that that first surgery, uh, they fused 13 vertebrae.

Speaker 6:11

Wow.

Speaker 1 6:12

Yeah, okay at 20.

Speaker 6:14

At 20. And then there's recovery time. So how long was that?

Speaker 1 6:19

It was a long recovery. I'm honest, to where I felt like I was back to myself again, it was a full year.

Speaker 6:27

Okay, that's a long time for a young person. And in the meantime, you're you're in music. Yes. Are you doing that?

Speaker 1 6:34

Yeah, I had actually had to come home. I was in uh music school over in California. I had to come home for that surgery. Um, and that was the end of that schooling program.

Speaker 6:47

So so it really impacted your life in a in a whole bunch of ways, this this medical issue. And then surgery is not fun, and then you're you're trying to live your life. And and is there a place of uh are are you always optimistic? Is there a place of hopelessness? Is there what's keeping you going?

Speaker 1 7:13

It was really a lot of up and downs

Setbacks, Substances, And Choice

Speaker 1 7:18

for a lot of years. Um you know, I I didn't have the right tools and resources uh to handle the chronic pain. Um so definitely leaned into substance issues, um, and that took me down lots of other paths. Um you know, but it's been it's been a long journey of of discovering myself and and learning that, you know, is that the path I want to take? It's my choice. Um you know, and and I've come a long way from that. I've I've been in treatment twice. Um, you know, but I think for me, the the big growth was really committing and wanting to change.

Speaker 8:19

Okay, so the the use utilizing the chronic pain, the surgery, the substances as a as a growth point. What where did you get to the part where you said, I have a choice, I'm empowering myself with a choice. Was there a time, or is this just growing over time that you decide I want to live my life this way?

Speaker 1 8:42

Yeah. Well, in yeah

2023 Emergency: Hardware Removal

Speaker 1 8:44

exactly. So in 2023, my back got really bad again. Um I ended up in the emergency room in May, and within 48 hours, they had to remove all the old hardware, um, 18 years worth of hardware, and refuse my spine. Yeah, tell us 14 levels of fuse.

Speaker 9:08

Tell us how long that surgery took.

Speaker 1 9:11

I I think it was around eight or nine hours. That was a long one. And then a couple hours to to close me back up. So it was it was long um and brutal. Uh it was, you know, another three weeks um of being in the hospital uh right after that, and it was just it was rough.

Speaker 9:37

So what taught you from the other surgery and chronic pain to deal with, because now you're older, to to deal with this new set of circumstances. And I don't know if you would call it trauma. Would you call that trauma? It seems like it's medical trauma.

Speaker 1 9:55

Yeah, I look at it definitely, at least as a physical trauma to the body. Um I do believe that the body holds that kind of you know, I I believe in that. So um after the second surgery, it was it was really rough. I had a really hard time dealing with um

Walking Again And Turning Inward

Speaker 1 10:19

the chronic pain. I was I was grateful that I could walk because they were afraid that I was gonna lose that ability. Um that's why the emergency that's why it they had to do it real fast, yeah. Uh I I was in such a bad place that I knew that I I had a couple of different paths. I could go back to what I've always done in the past, or I could really go inward. And I've spent about a year and a half doing that. Um I'm and it it's it's been consistent work. I'm I see two different therapists. Um, I I'm in therapy twice a week. Um, and there are many days when I get home from work and I'm like, the last thing I want to do is sit down and have this talk right now. Like it, but I do it, you know. I'm I'm committed, I'm committed to to my growth.

Speaker 11:18

Wow. That's inspiring. Yes.

Therapy, Work, And Family Life

Speaker 11:21

And and to share with people, you're you're working full-time, you have a family, two daughters. So it's it's not like this can be the only thing that you do. You're in you're doing everyday things. Right. Go driving the girls to dance, sit, sitting, sitting down, watching what, five different performances. Yeah. Yeah. So in the meantime, you're you're living life the best you can.

Speaker 1 11:52

And and it it's not easy. Um there are still days. I mean, last week, this past week, there were days when I would be getting up for work and I couldn't, you know, it takes me about a half hour to be able to stand up straight. Uh, you know, I I gotta spend extra time in the shower. I've got to spend time, you know, watching what I'm eating for uh inflammation. Um there's a lot of extra work that goes into it. But I'm I'm reaching

Anger, Acceptance, And Breathing

Speaker 1 12:28

a point where I'm looking at all of that differently now. Um and I'm just becoming very present with um taking care of myself.

Speaker 12:42

Nice.

Speaker 1 12:43

Yeah.

Speaker 12:44

And you're worth it. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 12:46

Yeah, yes. I think that I am.

Speaker 12:49

Yes. And did you always have that you were worth it, or did you is this part of your definitely not.

Speaker 1 12:55

Okay. Uh it's yeah, I was I think chronic pain can be very isolating um for people who are in it, and and even though you can have all the support around you, uh the other people in your life that are not experiencing it day to day, there's still an isolation there. Um and that's where that inner strength really has to come out.

Speaker 13:26

And and do you still feel do you feel lonely in that place where people who don't have chronic pain wouldn't understand,

Pain Versus Suffering

Speaker 13:34

or is it is it loneliness? At times. Okay.

Speaker 1 13:38

At times it can be. Um, you know, and at times I'm still angry that I'm hurting, um, that I can't control it better. Um, I feel all of that stuff still. It's just I'm not living in those places anymore.

Speaker 13:56

Well, tell us that process. So when you're given something you didn't want, for sure. Right. And then the the anger, what do you do with that anger? Because some people don't know what to do with that. It's such a charge of energy. What do you do with it?

Speaker 1 14:15

Breathe.

Speaker 14:16

Okay. You've learned some skills along the way.

Speaker 1 14:19

I have. Um. And it doesn't always work, you know. And but I think the biggest thing is not judging the emotion.

Foundations: Move, Sleep, Nutrition

Speaker 14:30

Ah, good.

Speaker 1 14:32

You know, because that's where I think we get screwy in our heads. You know, it's like, well, I shouldn't be angry. I'm supposed to be over this by now. So no.

Speaker 14:40

No.

Speaker 1 14:40

Your back hurts and you're angry. That's a valid emotion. Feel it.

Speaker 14:43

Yeah, I like how you just brought it up. Yeah, I feel angry. If it's it's a normal part of this healing piece. Right. Right. That that it's that you normalized it.

Speaker 1 14:54

Yeah, I think the finding a way to lower the resistance around the meaning you're giving it um has helped me.

Speaker 15:06

Yes. The the it seems like the wisdom. So how have you created meaning? Is it is it that you are intentional that this means something to you, or just it came through the healing? What what happened in that process of um I want to do it a different way, and and this is meaningful work to do it?

Speaker 1 15:30

It's been a long process and it's it has been ugly

Community, Empathy, And Closing

Speaker 1 15:35

and hard. It's it's not been um it's not been a quick fix. It's and it still is just barely, you know, becoming what I think it can become. I had a lot of of moments in the past where I had felt kind of like a science experiment gone wrong. And I felt betrayed by a lot of doctors of certain parents.

Speaker 16:08

Yes.

Speaker 1 16:08

Um, a lot of them were quick to cut me open, and then when there were still issues, I they didn't really wanna, you know. I mean, and I'm not I'm not um this was my own path and experience, and I believe doctors are good people. I don't it's nothing against them, like yes, I don't hear that.

Speaker 16:26

Yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 16:27

Um but feeling so rigid in this body and and not being in a wheelchair so people see me as walking and being normal, but my back's killing me all the time. I can't move with my kids like I want to. I can't do the things I want to do. All of that can absolutely just destroy me if I let it.

Speaker 16:54

If you let it, yes. And so you're not letting it, and and that's another piece too, is you're not letting it, and when people can't see it, because you look great, is that a problem? Do you is that uh an issue for you, or do people not need to know uh what you go through?

Speaker 1 17:19

It used to be an issue for me. Um but I I think as I did more, I like I said, I've I've just really done a deep dive um of inner work over the past year or two. And I think a lot of that was ego, like, you know, I I need someone to see the pain that I'm in. Yes, you know, to validate to validate it. Um and there's I think some of that is is real and and probably needed too. But I'm just looking at things in such a a different perspective now, a more macro level, that I just I don't know. I I just it feels like it's a personal journey for me and it's it's my pain to experience um and my pain to grow through.

Speaker 18:13

I so appreciate you sharing this with everyone because it's really vulnerable of you, and even to share that even now there's ugly times, and and then there's meaning in that too. So I don't know if the the relationship with yourself is is amazing that you've gotten to this point where there's a a real acceptance of who you are and and your emotions that you feel. How has it impacted your relationships with your wife, your kids in in an emotional way or a being present way?

Speaker 1 18:48

I think being present is one of the biggest struggles with chronic pain in particular. It's very easy to check out and when you're in pain and and be there physically, but mentally you're just kind of in another world. Um and I would catch myself doing that with with my family a lot, especially during the first year after recovery um of the of the last surgery. It was when the pain was just brutal, just day after day. But once again, it's something that I've I've been working on where I'm getting to a place where I'm trying to be able to be present with the pain there and and not allow it to transfer into suffering in those moments. I sometimes I can I have pretty good days with that, and sometimes I lose that battle. But that's the other big thing for me was distinguishing the two, and and for a long time without the tools, I didn't think it was possible. But there is a way to to separate pain from suffering.

Speaker 20:10

Well, you're a living example of that, and I know it's not easy enough to keep reworking it. What would you tell your younger self, but living a life that's meaningful and purposeful for what you're doing in healing, but also your daily life of doing a you're you're doing an extraordinary job in your job. I don't know if you want to talk about that, but but you're you're at a high level and and worked yourself up to that and running of you know, being the head of the household. Um, what would you tell your younger self that felt hopeless, or even maybe what you tell yourself now when you feel hopeless to encourage yourself that that there's a place that's growth-wise and meaningful and hopeful?

Speaker 1 20:57

I think for my younger self, the biggest thing would be to just keep focused on the foundational things. My body hurts nine times out of ten, but I'm making the decision now to move it every day. Um whether it's hurting or not, I do it because that's part of what needs to be done. It's it's the it's very basic things, but they they they're building blocks, you know. Um whatever that looks like to you for for moving your body, getting enough sleep, uh, your nutrition, water intake, they're foundational things, but people always want to kind of push those to the side.

Speaker 21:45

They seem almost too simple.

Speaker 1 21:47

They do seem too simple.

Speaker 21:48

But it it's like you said, it's the basis. Right. It's the the foundation.

Speaker 1 21:53

Right. And every time I feel like I'm starting to really kind of go off the guardrails. emotionally or physically because they're combined.

Speaker 22:02

They are combined.

Speaker 1 22:04

Um I I noticed that if I can, you know, refocus on some of those foundational things for a few days, it it gets me back on track. It regrounds me.

Speaker 22:13

Yeah. That I mean it's so well said. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming and sharing your your story of triumph and you're still triumphing. I mean this is a story that's ongoing of your resilience and and that you're you're like the rest of us and then you're doing this extraordinary thing. And so I hope people get something from this in the inspiration that Kurt has shared and his vulnerability. So thank you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 1 22:43

Yeah just so thank you for having me. Yeah I'm honored as well thank you.

Speaker 22:46

Yes in in this place of these are the stories of people they're they're they're right next to us they're working next to us but we don't know what they've gone through. And and they're sacred stories and a journey that is a lifetime journey. This is Kurt's personal journey. That's why I love that he came to share it with us all because it's so personal. It means so much and I feel like when we share these things and what we go through then we know we're not alone in our journey. We have people that understand and can empathize even though we don't know their story this is a chance to open our hearts that the person next to you and on the bus, the person next to you at work, uh the person next to you at a baseball game has a story too and you have one too and there's hope and inspiration. I I feel like I got some today in the places where where you you're so authentic about yeah we get angry but not to judge it or or we don't feel good each day but our self-care is our foundation and we need to get back to that. And and to understand being present is something to work on so that we can at least grasp connection with other people that are in our lives as well. And it's an ongoing process. Yes. And so thank you thank you so Malistic for supporting us and I want you to stay tuned. So please subscribe because our next guest is going to come and tell us her honorable and triumphant story of from depression not being able to get out of bed to exercise that self-care piece that and and I don't even know where she got the spark to do what she did but she'll she'll come and share that with you. So stay tuned keep your hearts open use this inspiration in your own life and then we want to make sure that you visit us again. So subscribe you're our friends now we're building a whole community of triumphant stories thank you