From Hell Week To Hope: How Micro Steps Build Unbreakable Resilience

What if resilience isn’t a trait you’re born with, but a muscle you build one breath at a time? We sit down with a 24-year U.S. Special Operations veteran and Green Beret to unpack what endurance really looks like under pressure—when the mission narrows to a single knot tied underwater, air running thin, and a quiet promise not to quit. His story reveals how micro steps, trust in others, and a values-first framework can carry you through crisis, trauma, and everyday overwhelm.

We dig into the mechanics of learned resilience: why selection pipelines are marathons designed to teach you to fail, adapt, and try again; how sleep deprivation and stripped comforts expose your true process; and where reliance on a higher purpose or a committed teammate becomes the hinge that keeps you moving. You’ll hear the moment he almost rang the bell during Hell Week, and the simple phrase—“Just get this one done”—that pulled him through three more brutal iterations. Along the way, we explore why interdependence isn’t weakness, it’s strategy, and how everyday faith shows up in the trust we place in strangers, systems, and each other.

Translating these lessons to civilian life, we map a practical playbook: ground your breath, restore homeostasis, reduce the problem to the smallest executable step, and choose direction using a clear values hierarchy. We challenge the myth of chasing happiness and re-center on joy—accessible even in hard moments—found in purposeful work, service, and honest connection. We also confront polarization with curiosity, arguing that civility and real listening make us more resilient together. If you’re feeling stuck, this conversation offers a way forward: shrink the step, lean on your people, and let your priorities pick the path.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a boost, and leave a quick review to help others find these stories. What’s your next smallest step?

Transcript

Framing Resilience With Special Ops

Speaker 0:04

Hello, welcome to Triumph Stories of Resilience podcast. I'm Dr. Kim DiRe, a trauma healing specialist, and I have a special guest today, Zach Wegehoft. Did I say that correctly? Perfect. Okay. And he's been in US Special Ops Forces Command for 24 years and multifacets of that. And a Green Beret for how long?

Speaker 1 0:34

Um since 2008 is when I was first in the pipeline for that.

Speaker 0:40

Okay. And we were talking earlier about some of the things about resilience, because you've had resilience and you said you learned it, or people learn it, or they teach it. So talk about that because that's really interesting in the face of trauma is oh, we we don't think about learning resilience, we think about adapting, or I do in my line of work, adapting from this part where you you get through the trauma, so there's some adaptation and compensation of that.

Speaker 1 1:15

So yeah, that there is uh there's this notion that it everybody comes there already prepared in some aspect. And I think that that couldn't be further from the truth. You get you get a a giant uh sampling of the population who's just trying to do something that's you know perceived as exceedingly difficult, I think. I don't think anybody enters into it with a misconception that it's going to be easy. Um but they come and they have only their prior experiences, trauma, whatever to rely on, and that generally is insufficient um for most people. I I think that when you are exposed to a path that is only, you know, from point A to point B,

Learning Resilience, Not Being Born With It

Speaker 1 2:10

curated steps, and you have to follow that that niche path, um you are forced to adopt a sense of never quit. No matter how much I fail at this, I can't select myself out of this. Otherwise, I'm going to, you know, um ensure that I don't make it. But if I give it every opportunity and just give it my best, even though I totally screwed up yesterday, I I'm going to learn to continue to do it despite failing time and time again, because it it is the selection process for any special operations is never a sprint. It's always a marathon effort. The shortest timelines are a year and a half. The longest, three years plus.

Speaker 3:03

From the training, they're implementing resilience in that training in it's an a necessary adoption to be able to succeed.

Speaker 1 3:16

So I think that uh you'll you'll see people who are early on in in the training, you'll see people who come from all all different walks of life. And the commonality amongst those who generally tend to adopt the right mindset to make it through is that they don't rely on themselves for any of this. There's always a sense of of uh higher power, higher responsibility. Um so when people who are true atheists and have uh, you know, only myself and I'm a nihilist, and that they they don't make it, they just can't process through that. Um, whereas everybody else has some sense of even if they're not religious in any way, shape, or form, right? You're you're an agnostic, you believe there is something that is greater than that you that you can rely on in the moments of your own failing.

Speaker 4:25

So interesting. So that is talked about in this training, or it it comes naturally with the job at hand or the the demands at hand?

Speaker 1 4:37

It's a byproduct of being um uh of facing daily your shortcomings and how you are going to strive to overcome the next step, right? Uh because you you can tell most people you have to walk around the the world with a backpack on your back and you have to do it every day until you get back to the starting point, and they would tell you that's impossible, right? The the person who adopts this mindset of I'm absolutely never going to quit no matter what has a much more

Higher Power And Relying On Others

Speaker 1 5:15

short-sighted view of this in that they know they can execute a step, put one foot in front of the other. And that's all they rely on is that that ability to continue to do that micro movement. And so I I could walk indefinitely until my legs fall off because I can put one foot in front of the other, not because I have some magic sauce to getting to the you know the the circumference of the globe and back again. That that just doesn't exist. And I think uh distilling things down to their their smallest movements and focusing on just the next thing is what gets a lot of people through.

Speaker 5:59

Yes, and that's the definition of signaling overwhelm is the steps are too big, break it down to the smallest piece. So in that piece of life or death, you've been there before. Okay, oh yeah, you then call upon something bigger than you.

Speaker 1 6:22

Absolutely. So um real good example for this would be um pre-scuba. So in pre-scuba, you are going to come to grips with your own mortality because you you know that you've been assigned this task that you have to do. It may be as simple as tying a knot to a rope underwater, right? Um, but you're going to set aside your own self-preservation for the sake of accomplishing that task, knowing that you're running out of air and that your focus is narrowing, you've lost all perception of color, you're down to this keyhole vision of this knot, and you're you're shaking because you have no oxygen left, and you're going to continue to try and do that because you know that you have faith in the people up on the pool deck who will save you when you pass out underwater. Wow. And these people have not just faith in the the people beside them, but also there was, I have to rewind a little bit. So there was a struggle that I faced in this. Like my first time I had to go through pre-scuva. There's so many iterations, it was ridiculous. I've never successfully got through it on the first go.

Micro Steps To Beat Overwhelm

Speaker 1 7:50

I was there in the middle of Hell Week, having to do this underwater event again. And I'm just like, I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. This is not fun. This has nothing to do with like my vision of my life ahead. Why am I being faced with this? And in that moment, I had uh a guy next to me just look at me, and he could tell, he could tell there was something who's like, just get this one done. Just this one. And he said that like three more times because we did it three times. I just got little chills when you're like, Yeah, so so it was just just get this one done. Okay. I'm like, it's not for me, it's because he asked me. That that is the only reason that I'm doing this right now. Otherwise, I would be ringing a bell and gone, and I'm going to get a warm shower and a meal and goodbye. But no, he he somehow noticed something on my face that indicated that I was at that moment of like I have nothing left and I don't want to be here in this moment.

Speaker 8:54

And did you get that one done then?

Speaker 1 8:56

I got that one done, I got the next one done, and then I got the next one done. Then I was done with that event that I really despised, and on to something else. And that that was the closest I came to quitting in the selection process was that right there. Yes, in the middle. So this is about our 94 of 96 with no sleep. And so they do this intentionally to see, you know, how how your mental state declines and whether you have time dilation to see things go slower around you or things are speeding up and you feel overwhelmed. Like they need to be able to see if you can understand how you process complete removing food, removing sleep, removing all the comfort items that we rely on to be able to support ourselves into things. We we've stripped that all away and we want to see how you function.

Speaker 9:57

So you're so they put you in complete survival mode and see if you can logically Yeah, there is no logic.

Speaker 1 10:07

In 96 hours, you are you're relying on one of two things. You're relying on either a previous experience of something like this, which very few of us had. I came in off the streets with absolutely nothing. And we started off with 280 kids, and I'm gonna say kids because we were all how old were you? I was 19 at the time. Okay, kids, okay. Kids. So 280 of us start this endeavor, and three of us graduate over a fiscal

Pre-Scuba Mortality And Trust

Speaker 1 10:40

year. So myself, Jared Petris, and Daniel Rhymes are the only three who make it through this whole meat grinder over a year. And it's it's not because there's something special, it's because we had lots of faith in things other than ourselves and lots of interventions at the right time. Because uh they're definitely um you know, nobody, nobody is an island, nobody's capable of doing anything in this life on their own. You you have to rely on other people. And for your people to say, like, I'm absent faith, no, you're you're not. You go to a pharmacy and you expect that the drug you're gonna be given is like the correct drug, you don't go home and test it. People have faith, they just don't necessarily uh have the introspection to know that they have faith in things greater than themselves. And then when you reinforce this belief that you're good enough, just you, your your way. I'm like, uh uh, no, no, it can't be me because I'm I'm insufficient in all these ways. And I'm I'm not anything special, period. Like, no ifs, ands, or buts. I am like the baseline example of what can make it through special operations. So uh I would say that if I can do it, almost anyone can do it. You just have to adopt the right mindset. That's it.

Speaker 12:22

And that's the the meaning for this podcast is that we inspire each other. So at times you inspire others, that person that got you through inspired you. We all rely on this interconnected piece, and and sometimes trauma rips us out of that where we feel like we're alone, but we're not.

Speaker 1 12:43

No, you're never alone, right? Right, you're never alone. Like even if you have no um faith in a higher being, there are people on this earth who are thinking about you. And yeah, we we don't always get the spidey tense that somebody's like thinking about us, but I I promise, neighbor Kim is constantly coming up in Ann's mind and asking about you. And when we get to do stickers, I'm we we still have all these things that we um as we weave ourselves in and out of people's lives, that they may have gotten way more from the experience with us than we could possibly know. Yes, you know, it doesn't it doesn't have to be some profound moment, it could be just oh you I remember when that guy held the door for me and I I was hearting that day and he held it and I was able to like go through without yes, those simple little connections are so important.

Speaker 13:52

That's why I encourage people

The Moment Of Almost Quitting

Speaker 13:55

encourage people to smile a genuine smile at people. Yes, yeah, just that simple peace.

Speaker 2 14:02

I think that civility and chivalry uh is lacking in today's age, and I think that it would make profound differences in how people uh interact as we go forward.

Speaker 1 14:21

I think that uh polarization is at a maximum right now.

Speaker 2 14:27

I think that people are so trained in opposition to some viewpoint that isn't their own.

Speaker 1 14:43

And I I would hope that people would adopt a mindset of wisdom where they can listen to anything that's being said, it doesn't matter whether it's right, wrong, or indifferent, you don't have to agree with it for it to be said, and you can also know that it has value because it's that person's point of view.

Speaker 15:03

And we're all connected in some way, shape, or form to help each other through.

Speaker 1 15:09

Absolutely. And when you see that that person is assigning value to that, it may give you just sufficient pause to be able to reevaluate your stance, hopefully, if you're being intellectually honest. Because I I think uh and I'm guilty of it too, of just you know, regurgitating other people's thoughts because I I like watching YouTube. So uh yeah, I I wanted um for our interaction today to to be as open and reflective as I could be of this, because I I think that people, as we were talking about earlier, don't understand that there's that crisis path of resilience when you have no other options. And then what I would advocate for out of the general population is seeing things that are impediments that you know are going to be difficult is not always a bad thing. Learning to quit quickly or fail quickly is great because you with with every failure, you're getting experience. You you never walk away from failure, absent growth.

Speaker 16:30

Right. Yes. If if if someone takes it like that, but so often it's I failed, I'm not enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not. That's that's it's not all about you perspectives for some people with crisis or traumatic events. So you learn differently through the 24 years, absolutely.

Speaker 1 16:57

Special forces is slightly different from Navy SEALs, which is slightly different from Air Force special operations, right? And special forces, because of

Sleep Deprivation And Mental Decline

Speaker 1 17:10

its uh alignment with cultural understanding and like integration into different cultures geographically, places a huge emphasis on having no one type of person be the model. So we we have five foot nothing uh Korean guys who were born in Taiwan with you know the ability to speak some other language. Like just the the mutts mix is the beauty of it. And each person ends up leveraging these experiences that you couldn't possibly get from a uh homogeneous pool of candidates. And I think that that was the thing that I valued the most out of anything, was that that breadth of experience that you can get from the diverse picture.

Speaker 18:17

So the diversity is the stronger crew or the stronger team.

Speaker 1 18:22

I wouldn't say it's stronger because it the the the mission set is different, right? Because they're they're definitely if you are trying to be a Navy SEAL and you've never been exposed to a swimming pool before in your life, that's gonna be a real challenge. And I would say that having some pre-selective criteria, which yeah, uh it narrows your focus, is a good thing for getting people to make it through. Because you you have to look at what what is the common thread amongst all these candidates who are making it through this process. How do we then target those groups to get more through this this meat grinder to the end? And I think that uh Australian SAS is the most homogenous thing I've ever seen, but they produce one heck of a product in in a uh a very good tactician who is capable of being tall, lanky, carrying lots of weight for a long distance. And the things that they select him for is for those missions.

Speaker 19:38

So that outcome.

Speaker 1 19:40

And it's for a very specific mission set, right? So I mean, don't say like, well, we're we're gonna throw, you know, somebody who's never swam before in their life into this just to see if we can get one out of a thousand through this. No, you're gonna target your efforts, you know, to coastal populations where generally people have swam in the ocean before and will not die the first time you throw them into the Pacific.

Speaker 20:07

Right. So, how do you then transfer that knowledge that you have into civilian life and those capabilities, knowledge, wisdom in into the lay people?

Speaker 1 20:24

The ability for you to actually know where you want to go

Interdependence And Everyday Faith

Speaker 1 20:30

is probably one of the greater challenges, right? Because uh we we all have uh paralysis by analysis. Yes. And we all are subject to the Dunning-Kruger effect, right? So we we think we have this, you know, broad understanding early in our exposure to something, that as soon as you start learning any more about it, you realize you know absolutely nothing. And so I think that people should look at what they believe everybody knows, ask, and engage on those topics that they think are common to find out where it is that their expertise may actually lie. And I think that that would be an effective way of narrowing your focus to something that you obviously are good at, that you like, that you think is normal for everybody, that isn't normal for everybody.

Speaker 2 21:31

Right.

Speaker 1 21:32

And um once you have a goal in mind to be able to have not necessarily a path, because uh all too often you say, Oh, I know the path, but knowing the path, walking the path, two totally separate things. Yes, I think that's been covered at ad nauseum, but you you have to know where you want to get to and Least enough so that you're not standing still. Because indecision is worse than even retrograde. Like fall falling back is not a bad thing. If I have to go back to working at McDonald's again, so be it. Because I obviously need a shift of perspective. And that's not a bad thing. Because now, as I take a step back, the the avenues that I need to go either side of the path that I was on that stopped me dead in my tracks may be really apparent.

Speaker 22:36

Okay, so when I work with people with trauma and knowing what they want is really good, but oftentimes they don't because they have this huge block of indecision. So how would you say that you learned or learned from your crisis to take down the wall of indecision to go which path to go on? Because when you're moving forward, whatever decision you make is the right decision.

Speaker 1 23:03

So uh I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of grounding, right? Yes. Indecision isn't always a bad thing. It's just a moment that you have to take as a task. So indecision is a task. It's a task where you have to set the conditions for your own success through indecision. You have to first drop it down to that lizard brain base instinct where get control over your breathing. Because while it's an autonomic function, we we need to make sure that we have a measure of control over it so that we can start then deliberately scripting out the next step, literally step. What what are you going to step toward? What is the next thing? Well, I'm cold, wet, tired,

Civility, Polarization, And Listening

Speaker 1 24:00

and hungry, so I need to fix my my homeostasis. I need my conditions to improve on a really rudimentary level. If I don't have shelter over my head, that is the first thing I'm heading for, is the overpass so that I get some type of relief from the rain, right? Or whatever the cover looks like. So that's my next step. Get to the overpass. Okay. Well, I'm cold, wet, tired, and hungry, and under an overpass. Do I have a change of clothes? Can I change my socks? Can I do anything to improve my condition slightly? Okay, that's my next move. Alright. How much time do I have before if I have anything else in my life? Oh, I don't because I don't have a job, I don't have family, I don't have anything to rely on. For me, I need to sit down and have a prayer. I'm going to take that moment to be grateful for the breath that I was able to take, the steps I was able to take, the cover over my head. Now that I've got a little bit of gratitude and realizing that it's not all about me, I'm gonna do alright. The next thing is how do I get to a place where I can get a shower and get some food? So I I'm taking care of Maslow's hierarchy from the base up until I get to that point where I've got enough time that I can sit down and reflect on the indecision that I'm in that needs to go away so that I can progress in anything else. How do you choose the path, right? Because people are like, well, there's so many options. Well, great for you. That is awesome.

Speaker 26:07

That you have more than two options.

Speaker 1 26:09

You have more than two options. Well, let's start, and this is a bit of a a paper exercise, but it works well. And so I I've had at one point I had 2,500 students under me who all had the same thought going through their head. And so we come up with what's important in my life. And for me, there is a hierarchy to this that is really dead simple. I I prioritize God first, then my wife, then my kids, then my job, because it's more important in supporting those efforts above than my extended family, than my friends.

Speaker 2 26:53

And if it isn't in that order, why? Why?

Speaker 1 27:01

Why isn't it in that order?

Speaker 27:03

And for someone to ask that of themselves.

Speaker 1 27:07

Why your list looks different. Well, I don't have a wife. Okay, well, that's an easy one. Oh, I don't have kids. Okay, well, that's an easy one. So your work still needs to support you and your efforts above.

Failure As Growth And Diverse Teams

Speaker 1 27:20

Your your work needs to become more important. And we're we're in this society where work is a bad thing. Oh, I need to be able to retire at 20. That's a horrible idea. We we get gratification from good purpose work. Good work. Yes, right? Purpose. And my my purposeful work can be at McDonald's. That is fine. Feeding people, feeding people absolutely a and it it's instant gratification because you see somebody who's hungry take that first bite, and you know you made that, and they do that, oh, because that's the first good meal they've had in a while. There, there's intrinsic joy in seeing that your the product of your labor fulfill somebody else.

Speaker 28:09

And that's a different way of going to work than getting a paycheck.

Speaker 1 28:13

Yeah. Money should never be the goal itself, it should be what you can get with money. Right? I I know lots of people who are monetarily motivated for the sake of seeing the dollar sign go up in their bank account. Why? To what end? You you're going to be unfulfilled no matter what that says. You you could have 12 zeros after that. It's not going to matter.

Speaker 28:41

If that's the goal.

Speaker 1 28:43

If that's the goal. You will never seek you'll you'll never find joy from seeing dollar signs. You will find joy from what you can get with dollar signs, and you will find joy from and I think that a distinction between joy and happiness needs to be made really clear.

Speaker 29:04

I agree.

Speaker 1 29:05

Because the this lie we've been fed that uh, you know, live your best life to seek your happiness. We're guaranteed the pursuit of happiness, but happiness is a an emotion that's much more rare than we might give it credit for. Joy is something that in your worst moments, in that pool, when you are like, I am not gonna make it through this next thing, that's a nice clean breath. I am taking joy in that breath.

Speaker 29:41

Yes, I I call it peace of mind, body, and heart. That that so often people are seeking happiness and it's so fleeting, but to come to the place where you're seeking peace, internal peace, no matter what's going on in this chaotic world. Because none of us are gonna get out of this chaotic world without some kind of crisis, trauma, stress, and and we need to learn, be inspired. Thank you very much, for these places where, and you gave us so many good practical ways of working through that nervous system dysregulation. You have to. Yes, and the and the paper part. I like how you have them write down the value system.

Speaker 1 30:30

So when you have your value system aligned, then you can look at your options, right? And they become really clear. So, um, example of how I arrived in Arizona despite from the rooftop saying I was never going back to the desert ever again. We outlined our priorities on the left-hand side, and we put the locations that were

Choosing Candidates For The Mission

Speaker 1 31:00

under consideration. Arizona way down the list, and then we looked at how those fulfill each of these uh priorities, and the priorities are rated, right? Because my number one is worth a lot more than my number N. And so in doing that and assigning like incrementally higher value on things that are toward the top of my list, it made Arizona a really clear winner, which I never would have considered before.

Speaker 31:28

And then you had a direction, right?

Speaker 1 31:30

We we realized that getting tied into community and the way that it is here, and that um being around our family was critical toward our daughter's success. So looking at her not as uh her own line item, but the the supporting entities beneath that now supporting her as a line item. So that decision moved up and moved up and moved up, and we end up, you know, easily coming to the conclusion one night, one night, we decided Arizona is the place. This is it.

Speaker 32:05

We're it made it clear, yeah, because you followed that that place. And then and then I got to meet you. So that was like an extra treat. Super bonus. Yeah, super bonus. So I want to thank you for being here. I could talk all day because of these really huge concepts that are are inspiring, and the part where people could gather so much from this inside of crisis, trauma, uh, resilience in a different perspective. Thank you.

Speaker 1 32:45

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that you give me the opportunity to have a great conversation.

Speaker 32:52

It's a good conversation. I really love it. It's fun. So thank you very much. Uh, we have the next guest coming who has another inspiring story of resilience from a deadly stroke to thriving. So please join us on the next podcast of Triumphant Stories of a Resilience podcast. Thank you, Zach. This was great.